Hello Everyone!
This is a hard post to write as I am torn between being thrilled, mortified and sorry.
I am referencing the Food Network airing of the show Chopped. I competed in April and the show finally aired last week. (albeit with time changes out of my control)
I was pretty vocal about the fact I was going to be on the show, knowing full well that I had cut my finger and was Chopped because of it. I did not know, however, that I would feel so defeated and deflated because people actually believed that I bled into the food and didn't care.
I nicked my finger when sectioning an orange and while I attempted to put a glove on, it did not fit, I was busy, flustered, anxious and concentrating and I made a BAD mistake by not stopping and fixing it. Trying to get the glove and actually doing it are two different things. I did not do it until it was too late and it cost me, big time. I DID NOT put a bloody finger into a raw salad, but the damage is done and I can't undo what is on film.
I did not care about losing $10,000 I cared about disappointing so many people.
The thing that upsets me the most is that people who don't know me, saw that and assume I did not care. I cared more than anyone knows. I knew I made a mistake and under abnormal circumstances made a bad decision.
But, that is so far from the attitude I have when I work in a kitchen and there is no way to show that on TV.
I care about my customers and the food they eat so much, it hurts. For anyone to believe that my flippant attitude was anything more than covering my own disappointment is frustrating at best.
Those who know me know how hard I am on myself and how much I care about what I do. I have been accused of caring too much in some cases, but that doesn't do me any good now. I used humor and yes, made excuses, to cover the disappointment I felt in myself and how I let down all of those who know me and were cheering me on.
The tears you saw were real. I knew that it was bad and could do nothing to fix it.
I am sorry for letting down the people who supported me the most. If I could do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat.
I can blame editing, or bad gloves or pressure..whatever. The bottom line is it came off that I did not care or that I thought the judges were being dramatic. They weren't and they were right.
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It was clear to me that your food is fabulous! It was definitely a mistake, that under pressure, probably was made worse and caused you to respond differently. However,in light of our current, health-conscious world, I hope you understand why the judges would be hesitant in eating the salad. I wouldn't. I do wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteI do understand and know that the judges did the right thing. I would too if I were them.
ReplyDeleteBut, I also realized, after a few viewings, that the judges also really liked my food. When Jeffrey said my food was "rustic", it made it all worthwhile.
As a Chef, to have a colleague "get" your food is the ultimate compliment.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Barbara
You actually DID put a bloody finger in the salad.
ReplyDeleteHow can you say that you did not put a bloody finger in the salad? I am watching a rerun of this episode and clearly you did. I know things can be made to appear differently through editing, but they show a zoomed in shot of your finger bleeding while you are tossing the salad. Was that staged or fake? And when the judges asked you about it, you said "I did?" as if you had no idea that you had cut yourself. In this day and age, with all the health concerns, you have to know that this is not something that can be taken lightly or casually. I would be very frightened to eat food that you have prepared.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are a liar. Your career as a chef is over, so I hope you're good at something else. I will personally make sure that no one that I have any connection with through business or my personal life will ever eat anywhere that you work.
ReplyDeleteSo here's a disappointing food facility inspection report about your facility:
ReplyDeletehttp://webapp.montcopa.org/health/Inspections/DateInspectionReport.asp?License=7637
Apparently there are also "mouse-like droppings" where you cook, and you guys don't dispose of expired products. I would never eat at your establishment!
Omg.
ReplyDeleteSo heinous.
In your position as a Head Chef of a catering business, you are the clearly in the wrong field.
Your carefree attitude towards health concerns and undermining the distinguished panel of judges is disgusting.
Instead of blaming judges that they are being dramatic, what I see is your are being dramatic, you are trying to hide your mistakes and not accepting it and blaming editing,bad gloves and all. I would suggest you one thing please accept your mistake and learn from it. You were only concerned about $10,000, not anybody's health. You could have waste your few minutes and wash your hands dry it put the band aid on and then gloves. And if you would have got eliminated because of unfinished dish, you would have walked out with pride that you didn't play around with anybody's health and that is what I called true chef who are dedicated and concerned about feeding clean and good food to people.
ReplyDelete